Time to Live
by kaitlin1198
Summary: After 2 years of working for the CIA Cammie has a little bump in the road, but will Zach be happy about her little surprise? Usually pairings. Set After UWS, all details about UWS the same. Please R
1. Chapter 1

**Cammie getting pregnant stories are kinda my thing. I have lots of them so why not one more. I mean im not obsessed with pregnancy or anything im 14 but I just have this way with writing it, that sounds very weird. but after reading UWS I couldn't believe Zach didn't want kids. So hes gonna get kids anyway. Also I might be a little rusty its been awhile since my last Gallahger fanfic.**

**Two Years Later**

I stood in the tiny airport bathroom with the pregnancy test in my hands. I had went on a mission that was suppose to be low level, only lasting three days. The thing blew up in my face. I got shot at more than once and grazed twice, not that it was anything new. I had been gone for two weeks and just now realized that my period was about month late. The test said positive, in my gut I knew it was right. I also knew that once I walked out of that bathroom I would be going to Langley, the CIA, and I would have a blood test and if they weren't busy I would know the results in about three days so I decided it was nothing to fret over, the cheap tests could always be wrong.

Turns out the cheap test wasn't wrong, I was really pregnant, yet I just couldn't be happy about it. I couldn't be happy becuase Zach doesn't even want a child. He told me two years ago he didn't ever want to have kids, and about a year ago when we moved in together and I lost my virginity he told me he didn't want to have kids. So what do I do? I need to talk to someone. Mom? Abby? Bex? Macey? I decied to just send out a group text. I knew Bex was in town and I knew that Macey and I were suppose to go out to breakfast tommorow and then Liz was in Houston. Abby and Mom were at Gallagher.

From Cammie to Abby, Mom, Bex, Macey: Hey guys I'm going to Gallagher in a few if you can met me. I'll see you there Abby and Mom.

I sighed as I got in my car, thoughts and emotions jumbling together. I needed to know what to say to the girls. I needed to know what i thought of me being pregnant.

Things I Know About Pregnancy/What I Think of Being Pregnant (A List by Cameron Morgan)  
1. Zach didn't what kids  
2. Would Zach be mad or accept it  
3. I didn't even know if I wanted kids  
4. I don't know anything about pregnancy  
5. How the hell was I suppose to tell Zach  
6. A child would mean big changes  
7. I wasn't ready for big changes  
8. I was twenty and still wanted a life  
9. How the heck did I end up pregnant  
10. I still don't know if I am happy about this or not

Usually lists help me, but this wasn't any help at all. I mean a child, a kid, a baby. Am I really ready to be a Mommy, have a little thing that I have to take responsiblity for. I had to love it and take care of it. Then again its my child it will love me unconditionally. It'll be my baby. My baby, my baby... I sighed of course I knew it was my baby that was the reason something in the back of my mind made me happy or at least made me want my baby. But Zach I love Zach so much and i don't want to upset him. Then again I don't know what we could have done to prevent it, well besides not having sex in the first place.

I pulled up at Gallagher as I shook the thoughts from my head. I saw Bexs vehicle already here so I walked straight to Moms office, the new Gallagher had a newer type of look and feel. It felt modern with more metal than wood and concrete floor instead of wooden. It still felt like home, but I guess just not as much. Almost everything but the sword had been lost in the fire two years ago. All of Gillians stuff, all of Gillians old cove op reports. Liz, Bex, Macey, and I had along with the staff had all took part in writing out the history of Gallagher and Liz, the genius, even remember some of Gillians reports almost word for word. We wrote out what she did and when the school was built, how she killed Cavan. They were starting a new secret library for covert operation reports related to Gillian. The first 6 too be cataloged were mine. The reason for writing everything down again is too pass it from generation to generation. This is done verbally in classes but as it goes down future lines verbal comunication can become distorted more than the original version.

"So what do you need to talk about?" Abby said as I plopped into the chair near the window.

"Yeah what is it Kiddo?" Mom said.

I just looked at them and sigh.

"If its soemthing Zach did then we can kill him for you?" Macey questioned.

I smiled but still didn't talk.

"Cam, you okay," Bex said than waved her hand in front of face, "Earth to Cammie."

"I'm pregnant," I let out.

"Uh," they all said simultameiously.

"I said I'm pregnant," I leaned back in the chair, "Now what?"

"What? My babys really pregnant?" Mom asked something between disbelif and a smile on her face. These past two years she had seemed happier with Joe than ever, yet even though most people couldn't tell I could see her face still tinted with worry for me now working full time at the CIA. How when she smiled small lines replaced her dimples slightly. Her pretty eyes once a bold green getting lighter and tiny wrinkles appearing. She was still completely healthy though; more the most people her age. I mean she was offically 47 and she had been through a lot in her life. Mathew and I disappearing on her. I know how much she aged after Dad left and even more so with me. I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to Zach. It hurt so much just to think about it. I knew having Joe and Abby, who was now 36, helped her a lot though.

I nodded, "Yeah, I just I just don't know what to think about it myself."

"What do you mean you don't know what to think about?" Bex said, " I mean your pregnant your having a thing."

I rolled my eyes, "It not a thing, Bex, its baby, or a child. I mean I guess in a way Im happy that I'm having a son or daughter, but I'm twenty how am I suppose to take care of it? And Zach doesn't even want to have children. I mean I guess I'm just kind of... scared."

Everyone was a little quiet just letting me talk at my feelings. "So squirt are you scared of becoming a Mom or becuase of what Zachs gonna think."

"Both I guess. I'm just really nervous about telling Zach."

"Cam," Bex interjected this time,"Can't you see that boy loves you more than anything. If he didn't I wouldn't let him be with you. He might not want kids but he'll take your kids any day. Hes gonna be happy and if he's not call me and Zachary and i will have a little 'chat'," She quoted.

"Oh yeah for sure, I'll be have a nice chat with him too," Macey said.

I smiled, "No thanks I can take care of Zach. I just hope he really is happy. I don't wanna have his child if he isn't even truly happy, you know how he can be."

"Cam," Mom said, "He'll be happy, I promise," then she smiled, "Im gonna be a grandma. Oh my gosh Joe is gonna be grandpa," She laughed to herself.

"Hey Cam I gotta get home Grants suppose to be there at seven and Macey rode with me so see you later. Im leaving for London on Monday maybe we can talk before then if not I'll call you once I get off the plane."

"Okay," I smiled and walked out with Bex who gave me a little hug, I was truly suprised.

"You gonna make a great Mom, you know? I love sis," She said trying not to get too serious.

"Thanks love you too Bex."

"Yeah I agree you really are going to be awesome. Talk to you soon. Love ya," She said.

After they retreated down the hallway I returned to Moms office to say bye. "Cam its going to okay I promise. Bex and Macey seem to have Zach, but if your nvervous about being a Mom then you have nine months to prepare. I was so nervous with you. I went on like 2 missions the entire time and the first week of your life I swear I spent all but 3 hours in your room. I was so scared to leave you alone, I was scared to pick you up and walk with you, I was scared to your bottle might be too hot. Mathew tried to reason with me but I wouldn't have it. Eventully when you were about 3 months old I went back to work. Things got easier but until you got old enough to walk I wasn't normal even then I always though about you first. And truthfully I felt the exact same way you do know. Except I knew Mathew would be thrilled he always wanted kids." She finished wrapping her arms around me and instantly I felt better, "I love you Cam."

"I love you too," I smiled pulling back, "things really changes thing doesn't like the rest of my life?"

She nodded, "Your ready for though."

"I'll see you later Mom," I said, "And tell Joe for me please."

Time to go home, to Zach.

**Plz let me know what you think, review. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Sadly with school i can't profread everything so sorry about misspelling or if i misuse word and the sentences sound wrong its my typing i think sometimes I think up the sentences too fast and my fingers have trouble keeping up. anyway in the laster chpater the "things really changes thing doesn't like the rest of my life?"it was suppose to say "this really changes things doesn't it, like the rest of my life." sry about that. anyway...

I got home to see that Zach wasn't home yet, weird considering he usually got home at 5 and it was 8. I sensed someone had been in the house the minute I walked in and my body tensed. I looked around but nothing seemed out of place and then I saw the note Zach left: Went to go see Townsend and Joe we are going to hang out tonight, if you wanna come we'll be at vines I should be home later tonight. Dinners in the fridge, its takeout, and you don't have to stay up till I get home.

Once I ate and changed into comfy clothes I sat down and let what was really happening sink in. I was pregnant and speaking of pregnant I sighed as I felt a wave of nausea pass over me, it had been happening for weeks and my boobs were really sore for awhile now too, it had to be the pregnancy. I hadn't gotten sick but once yet, maybe the morning sickness thing wouldn't be so kinda upset me that I couldn't even tell Zach tonight. I had laid on the couch to watch tv but before i knew it I was asleep.

I woke up in a bed even though I know I didn't fall asleep there. Zach was beside me playing with the end of my hair, "You better be glad its Saturday or else we would've been late. Its 11," He smirked

"Seriously?" I asked I knew I went to sleep at about ten.

"Mmmhmm," He said wrapping his arm over my waist. I had to get this over with.

I moved it and sat up, "Theres something important you need to know," I swallowed biting my lip. He nodded for me to continue, "I don't know if you'll like it though," I let out.

He ran his fingers over my face, "Gallagher Girl, you can tell me. I promise I'll love it."

"But I don't want you to promise you'll love it I want you to genuinly love it." I said standing up. "What is it?" He asked a bit more impatiently.

He didn't get an answer becuase I was in the bathroom last nights dinner going bye bye, eww. "Hey, hey are you okay," He helped me stand up and got me a glass of water.

I swallowed my stomach still feeling uneasy and I now realized a constant nuesea loomed over me, maybe I spoke too soon about this not being bad becuase I felt like shit. "You okay?" He asked.

I shook my head, "Zach," I shut my eyes, "I'm pregnant." I kept my eyes shut until I heard him breath from across the room.

I saw him sitting on the bed so I walked over and sat beside him laying my hand on his arm. When he didn't say anything for three minutes I got worried, "Zach, " My voice cracked, "What do you think about this? Are you okay? Are you happy you don't look happy? You aren't mad are you, are you? Zach help me," A worryful tone pronemt in my voice.

"Well," He started and I saw the glint in his eye, the way it darkened when the light caught it and I knew.

"You aren't happy," I let out not letting him finish, "Zach you helped create this you can't just not be happy about it, it doesn't work that. If you really didn't want a kid we shouldn't have done it in the first place."

"Cam its not that I'm not happy at you, its just," He blew out air trying to form words I think it was the first time I'd ever seen Zach have trouble finding the right thing to say. "I just never saw myself with kids. I just, I don't know how to be a Dad. And I mean were 20 we have lives and, and the CIA, and missions, Cammie. I just don't know how to balance it, I mean I never thought I would have a kid."

I threw my head back and squeezed my eyes keeping the tears. Zachs hand found mine and he intertwined our fingers, "Are you happy or not Zach? Do you want a kid or not? I mean do want adoption or do you want to keep it, you need to tell me. Please," I whispered.

"I'm not saying that I'm happy but I'm not saying that I'm not not happy. And its our kid of course I want to keep it. I just don't know how to make it work."

His arm came around me and pulled me to his, "I don't know how to either," I said letting my face rest on his chest, "I don't know."

Ta-da. Sorry I can't update a whole lot I have school and lots of other stuff, but anyway hope you enjoyed. Also I promise Im not gonna quit the story in the middle I might be busy but I always finish my stories, well most of this, this is one I plan on finishing. Please REVEIW


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys thanks for your amazing reviews plz remember to review. The more reviews i have the more often I'll try to update.

Three days after that Saturday I still didn't know what was going on. Sunday Zach had left early and returned late at about 11, drunk, and slept on the couch. Monday he left for work before I even got up. And today he left early again. I had a doctors appointment this morning at nine.

I got up at seven and was ready by seven thirty. I just wanted to get this over with. I wanted Zach to hold my hand. I wanted Zach... the more I sat there thinking about Zach and the baby the more tears clouded my eyes.

Maybe ten minutes later the door squeaked behind me. I jumped and saw Zach, "I thought you'd be gone by now," He said.

"If you were here you'd know," I snapped my voice weak and watery, "that I have a appointment at nine."

"Oh, are you okay," He gulped clearly kinda scared.

"Zach, why are you avoiding me, us, this?" I curled into a ball on the couch.

"Cam, I, I," He came and sat by me on the couch head in his hands, "I love you."

"Really?" I asked and he turned to look at me as if I'd slapped him, "Because people that love people are there for them when they need them, Zachary. You aren't there for me."

"I'm, I'm scared Cam. I don't know how to do this. I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to avoid you, but, I just I don't know how to help," He said pulling me into his lap. At first I resisted but then I gave in. Zach was just as nervous as me.

I sighed rubbing the tears from my eyes, I probably looked like a raccoon, why on earth did people even wear mascara. "Zach do you possibly think I know what to do. I mean I don't know how to take care of this and it. But every time you freak out and don't know how to do something once we have a baby you can't just run off. This talking, we need to talk. You holding me, thats being there for me. You have no idea how much better your making me feel just by sitting with me. Zach I can't do this without you. I'm scared and I come to you when I'm scared now your going to have to come to me and maybe two scared people can make two not scared people, I don't know."

He smirked and pulled me tighter against him, "I love you and I don't know what to do still, but I'll never stop loving you, I promise."

"Zach, will you come with me?" I asked.

He nodded, "Why are we going today."

I smiled, "You really have no clue do you? First you have to get an ultrasound and some tests. They'll do blood work to make sure everything is normal, don't freak, its totally done with all people. Then if we are lucky we might get to here a heartbeat. And we'll get to talk to a doctor like a professional and we can ask questions, maybe that'll help us."

"A, a heartbeat?" Zach stammered.

"Yeah all people have hearts," I half laughed.

"But this soon?"

"Usually its about twelve weeks in and I think I'm ten or eight so maybe. I don't know, but yes there will be a heartbeat."

"So did you enjoy the heartbeat?" The woman asked from the other side of the room. I nodded it was all too surreal, and as I looked at Zach i saw he was still unable to form words.

"As much as the blood test does help, its can't tell me everything?" She said with a tablet thing in her hands, "So what are the symptoms so far or has it all been normal?"

I shook my head, "Lots of nausea, some morning sickness, sleepiness. I am usually a very athletic type of person and energetic but these past couple days I feel like all the life has gotten sucked out of me."

"That all sounds normal. Just give me a call if anything you feel like isn't right occurs. Any questions?" She asked as if we were little kids, and for some odd reason it made me mad but I shook it off.

"Um," I asked, "So it normal to be so nervous, and confused. I've never really been around kids and babies, so I don't know like is it regular?"

She smiled, "About 15 years ago I was were you are. I was nineteen about to go into college, the father left, and I was scared, confused, and seriously nervous. About nine months later I held a little boy and all of my worries faded. Point being four kids down the road I still get nervous. I have a teenage boy that just started driving and a twelve year old girl that just went boy crazy, but I wouldn't take it back for anything. Kids are a lot of fun. I mean no body expects you to be perfect especially not your kids. Make sure to enjoy those first nine or ten years were little things like stuffed and animals and hugs and the fair mean everything to them because soon enough its going to be about the latest technology and they won't want anything to do with you

"They have parenting classes for simple stuff like changing diapers, if you need it. Otherwise its up to you. But just know that as long as you do your best your childs going to love you regardless and I'm sure you two will make lovely parents. Now as for other things to except I don't wanna be a preacher so heres a pamplete. Look through it, it tells you what to expect in time frames. Good luck, my assistant Cathy can tell you your next appointment."

Zach held my hand all the way to the car. He open the door for me and then got in on his side. I took his hand again once we were in the car, "Can we really do this? Are we really ready?" I asked.

He nodded, "Cam we can do anything." He squeezed my hand.

"I didn't even think you were happy about it?" I said realizing he could've just been faking his excitement.

"I know what I said but after today Cam," His hand moved to my stomach and I stole that as a chance to sneak a glance at him as he truly smiled, "There like a real thing, a real baby in there. I mean I'm still scared I'll end up like my Mom or like..., I mean there is a baby in there though that needs us. And as nervous as I am I just have to make sure I don't end up like that becuase there no way I can leave this."

I smiled, "I'm glad, I love you, I just had to say it again."

He grinned wider, "I love you too."

"Yayy then you'll fix me something to eat because I'm hungry." I laughed.

"And what would you like?" Zach asked.

"hmmm, M&Ms! Duh silly," I hit him on the arm, "You should know me better than that."

"I meant like real food wise."

"Oh, I want...you," I giggled.

"That I can arrange," He said deviously.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so so so sry I haven't update in forever ever ever ever... But I didn't get a whole lot of reviews on the last chapter so I waited longer. And my excuse is that I left almost my entire chapter on my grandmas computer and i know that if I rewrote it it would be worse. This is wat was on my grandpas computer and i just now got too it. REMEMBER TO REVEIW!**

Three Months Later

"Cam I think you should just take it easy on the missions,ok?" Zach said and he knew I wasn't listening.

I nodded and wince as I moved and pain shot up my leg. My ever expanding stomach that had seemed to pop out over night kept getting in the way.

"Are you even paying any attention to me?" He asked.

I shook my head, "Zach I only have two more weeks left I want at least one more mission maybe two, I mean they will be US based."

"Gallagher Girl," He wined, "I don't want you getting hurt I don't care where the missions happen you could still get hurt."

"But Zach its really nothing," I tried to convince him even though it seriously did hurt.

"Cam two months ago it was nothing when you had to be taken to the emergency room for a guy knocking you out. A month ago it was nothing when you blacked out for low blood suger during a mission. Now its nothing when you have a very sprained ankle. On top of that your almost five months pregnant, you shouldn't be going on missions; not right now, at least." He set his hand on top of my stomach feeling the definite lump of a baby. The first time he felt it you couldn't even tell it was a baby.

_I needed new clothes becuase my jeans barely buttoned, my dress pants didn't even get close to buttoning, my dresses felt too constricting, my blazers were too snug, and my button up shirts made me look fat._

_Thats how I talked Zach into going to the mall with me. We shopped and shopped. Finally I tried a dress I liked on me. It didn't show the very small bump too much, just enough to know that I had a bit of tummy nothing that would scream 'crazy pregnant lady'. I walked out to see Zach and he looked at me kind of funny before hesetaintly, like he was scared, running his hand over my stomach where he also noticed the tiny curving of my stomach._

_He smiled, "Thats our baby."_

_"Hmm, so do you like it?" He nodded looking over me again. With him I didn't feel the least bit insecure as I did with Bex and Maceys model bodys. I'll say I was still skinny but not in the way they were. Two years had passed but I still didn't look normal as in complete healthy, I was complete healthy, my physical appearance just wasn't as good as there I guess, maybe it was just me being paranoid._

_"Now its time to find some pants," I said after we had paid._

_"But Cam," He moaned, "We've been shopping all day."_

_"2 hours and 19 minutes," I corrected, "Fine I guess I'll just have to go without pants if you really wanna quit shopping."_

_"Im fine with that," He smirked._

_I slapped him on the arm, "Come on."_

As reality came back I set my head on Zachs shoulder, "Look after I hit six months they are gonna throw me in the basement or the filing category and you know it. I just want to make the most of the time I have left in the office."

Zach smirked, "And you can make the most of the time you have left in the office, in the office. Please for the sake of our child and for me don't take anymore missions." He begged.

I nodded,"Fine, I won't."

"Now is we hungry?" Zach asked not getting up.

"Is we hungry; you sure are teaching your child fine grammar," I laughed, "Yeah we are." I rested my hand on my tummy, I had been finding it there a lot more lately, every time the baby moved, which Zach couldn't feel yet, I would set my hand there just to be able to feel it. Most of the time when it moved randomly it seriously freaked me out and I would set my hand there like I was somehow comforting it.

"Okay, you stay here. I don't want you walking on that until we go to bed tonight." He went to stand up and I grabbed his hand, "Zach I have to pee."

He sighed rolling his eyes, "You always find a loophole."

I scoffed, " I really do have to go."

"C'mon," He pulled me up and as much as I would have liked to tell him I didn't need help walking down the hall I'm glad he helped. I knew he could tell something about me was changing, I had always been independent and lately I had let him help me with pretty much everything he wanted to help me with. I don't really know where the lack of independence had come from or if it was just becuase I had been tired.

Dinner was good and I expected to fall asleep as soon as I got in bed becuase of the hetic day I had, yet that didn't occur. I lay on my back and side and then flopped to my other side and back again, I knew without looking at the clock it was at least midnight and I still wasn't asleep. "Zach," I said like a little girl, "Sweetie," I tapped his shoulder.

"Hmm," He let out half opening his eyes.

"Are you asleep?" I asked, the most stupidest think ever.

"Well I'm not now," He propped himself up staring at me with half asleep eyes.

" I can't sleep," I mumbled in a small voice.

He didn't say anything but pulled my close to him and kissed me. Even with the bump in our way it turned out to be a pretty passionate kiss. Then I tucked my head on his pillow and he set his hand on my belly. I felt a little thump against my stomach and heard Zach gasp. I smiled he must've felt it.

"Did, did you feel that?" He asked now sounding fully alert and enthusiastic.

"Zach, its in me of course I felt it," I smiled.

"I felt it too, it was a kick."

"Or a hit. It could've been a fist," I mumbled even though I was really excited suddenly I was losing my conherancy and the next thing I knew it was morning.


	5. Chapter 5

I sighed shifting in the chair for the sixth time, today had been the worst day in the history of worst days. Lets start by saying Zach isn't with me becuase he had to go deal with some crap for the director in Maryland, at least he wasn't out of county or anything.

I'll admit the fifth month was good and even the sixth month was good but the first week of my 3rd trimester was totally kicking my butt. I had woke up Monday with a headache, which might or might not have been pregnancy related. Tuesday my ankles swelled, although they had been mildly swelled for a few weeks, but they felt terrible that day. Wenesday my back was killing me. Thursday and Friday it was all of those things plus I didn't get much sleep becuase my leg cramps at night and last night was pretty bad, not to whine or anything you know. Its currently Friday and I'm in a doctors office, I cant stand that I have to go to an appointment without Zach by my side the only thing that helps is that I'll get to sleep with him tonight.

I left the doctors after getting poked and proded. Apparently I was just a tinseey tiny bit above normal blood pressure so I was being banned from salt and sugar and a few other things, and I was scheduled to come back and have it checked next week.

I almost went straight home, but then I remembered I was suppose to meet everyone at Gallagher. Only Mom and Abby had seen me since that first day I told them I was pregnant. And the last time Mom and Abby saw me I was barely showing. I sighed, an hour and a half drive to Roseville was not going to be good on my poor feet, if only Zach were here. Then I pouted realizing I wouldn't get home until at least 6 or 7 maybe even after that, and I was freaking sleepy.

"Oh my gosh," Macey exclaimed when she saw me. I figured she was oh my goshing my stomach but knowing Macey she could've been reffering to my outfit. I thought it was a cute wintery maternity look, red dress that fits perfectly with my body at the moment black leggings black jacket with red buttons and comfy shoes, but I wouldn't be suprised if Macey had other ideas. My thought were answered as she said, "You look like," then she bit back was she was going to say I figured the words were going to be 'you look like an elephant' or something Maceyish like that, "You look bigger," She settled on clearly waterever she was going to say was inapporitate.

"Well thats sorta what happens, " I said and groaned. She looked at me as we walked, well for me it was almost waddling, down the hall. "Who all is here?"

"Uh, everybody. Me, Bex, Liz, Bex's parnets, your Mom, Abby, Townsend, Joe, and even Amy so everybody. So how are you?" She asked.

"Oh you know, I feel like a big balloon. My ankles are swelled but I think its gotten a bit better becuase I've been drinking more water, your suppose to do that, and um my back hurts now. When I sit down it'll stop for about a minute or two and when i stand it'll come back then it'll stop and then when I walk it comes back, its stupid."

"Oh," Macey said not interrupting my venting.

"Cam?" Bex asked when we walked in.

I nodded as she hugged as much as she could with this big stomach in the way. Then I guess I could say she escorted me to a seat by the window.

After Mom and Abby and Joe greeted me we all settled in, well they settled. I couldn't get comfortalbe no matter what positon I picked.

"Soo.." I let out once that was over, I settled my hand on my stomach silently thanking the baby that he/she (we were going to be suprised with the gender) hadn't kicked while they had there hands on my stomach becuase that would mean they would keep there hands on my stomach longer.

"Wheres Zach, why wasn't he at that appointment you had today?" Bex said almost acussinly.

"He had something to do for the director, but he was going to come." I saw the angerful look that she had always sucked at hiding in her eyes, "Do you know something I don't," I moved to where I was turned toward her in a hopeless way to find a better position, it didn't work.

"No," Bex said but from the tone lingering in her voice I knew she did, "Just, just tell him to call me about Argentina, he'll know what I'm talking about. No, Cam, chill it doesn't effect you and its not a big secret or anything."

"Well than what is it?" I asked.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Isabelle, it has to do with a dead little girl named Isabelle. I promise you don't need to know."

"Dead little girl?" I asked.

Bex ran her hand through her hair, "Its not of my business. But if you ask him he might, just don't ask him until I get to talk to him about it please Cam. Isabelle was a baby when Zach was like 7 and when he went to Blackthorne she was 5. She died from the Circle two months after he went to Blackthorne. Im not sure how they are connected and thats what I want to know, but please don't bring it up to him he, he; this little girl meant a lot to him and he wants to tell you on his own, okay?"

I nodded. "Anything new with you guys." I asked as the little one decided to kick my right in my rib cage and I flinched, the worst part about being in a room of spies even though most were retired is that they caught everything.

"Not much," Abby answered, "You okay?"

I nodded and grimaced.

"Ya sure?" Lizzy said from the other side of the room.

"Yeah I feel sorry for punching bags now that I know what it feels like to be one though," I said

"Is it kicking?" Bex asked. I nodded and before I even got anything out of my mouth Bexs, who was sitting right beside me, hand was flying to my stomach I grabbed her wrist right before she touched my stomach.

"You've already touched once today. If you touch me again you won't have fingers, " I said deadly serious.

She nodded almost looking scared as she drew her hand back, "Okay."

"C'mon Cam its just once?" Mace whined.

"Fine you put your hand up here and find out how serious I am," I let out and Maceys hand was suddenly on my stomach. I'll admit I was a little out of line, but I was also very uncomfortable and had already had a doctor poking and proding at me for an hour, so I grabbed her wrist and twisted it in a way where I could've broke it if I had wanted to before she pulled it back and stared at me like at I was a murderer, "I said no touching."

Bex leaned over and whispered in Maceys ear and I swear I heard her say, "The pregnant lady is crazy."

"Did you really just say that?" I asked.

"Uh," bex couldn't lie to me, "I hope you heard the Chameloen is awesome."

I half laughed, "I think I heard 'the pregnant lady is crazy' correct me if I'm wrong?"

Bex didn't say anything.

"Ohhh, the Bexnator just got burned," Macey let out.

"Really just got burned thats so four months ago, even though she really did."

Then the little monster kicked me in rib again and I flinched again. "Does she really kick that hard?" Mom asked.

I sighed "Only when she pretends my ribs are a jungle gym."

"What does it feel like, does it hurt?" Amy asked.

I shook my head, "Sometimes a bit, usually its just suprising. And then sometimes it tickles, but most the time its just annoying. You wanna feel?"

"I don't wanna loose fingers," She gave a shy grin.

"Its okay you haven't touched today. Besides your I would probably let you anyway, they've all felt a baby kick before, have you?" I asked.

She shook her head slightly edging forward.

"C'mon, I promise I won't bite," I patted the arm of the chair and she sat, "Now," I took her small hand and waited for a kick before setting her hand on my right side. And a moment later I felt a small thump and she smiled.

"Thats so cool, its really moving!" She said.

"she's awake, in a bit it'll stop an then it'll start again around 6 and then quit and then she will wake up again when ever I'm ready to go to sleep." I yawned.

"Is Mommy sleepy?" Macey asked.

"Mommy didn't go to sleep until midnight and she woke up at 4 in the morning," Zach walked in.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as Grant strolled in behind him, "We were working together and I knew Bex was here so I knew you where here and I offered to drive him here since we went in the same car," Grant explained.

"And your driving home," I threw the keys at Zach with terrible aim but he still caught them effortlessly.

"Hows work been?" Townsend asked Zach. Macey and Bex chatted about clothes. For once today no body was talking to me I took this as the chance to drift to sleep for a bad day, but seeing all of the family made it a bit better.


	6. Chapter 6

**They don't know the gender of the baby yet, but I think Cam would rather call the baby a he or she rather than an "it"**

The internet and countless number of books I had read said that strange dreams could occur throughout pregnancy, but I didn't know it would be like this.

Wednesday afternoon I came home from work early, at about 2, and took a nap, or I had tried to take a nap.

_I was there and so was Edwards, Steve, and Catherine. I was sitting on a roof tied to a chair. But I wasn't really sitting in the chair instead I was watching myself from afar. They had been been beating her, then Cammie felt soemthing moving and she looked down to see her stomach expanding to about the size it is now. Then Steve punching her stomach, Edwards laughed, and Catherine cut her stomach open, pulled the baby out and threw it over the side of the building and there was nothing Cammie could do. It wasn't grusome and bloody, and she didn't scream or panic, Cammie was calm and silent, only staring straight ahead._

_Then the world swirled and I was standing on the other side of myself still from afar. I could see my back, but I also saw the faces of the toturers, Mom, Joe, and Zach. There eyes were red like blood red, demon red. They gave each other high fives and laughed as Zach twisted Cammies neck breaking it, but still nothing about myself changed nothing, she saw still staring striaght foward._

_Just like that the image was gone and I was with Bex, Macey, and Liz watching myself by peaking out beind the old Gallagher family tapestery and seeing a younger version of us 4 walking down the hall. Cammie never got to the end of the hall because Cammie stopped and told the other girls to go on. Cammie walked over to the tapestery pulled it back and said, "Boo! I found myself" then she gave an evil laugh, and I know I have never ever laughed like before. She gave one last sly, devious, taunting grin to me before pulling the gun from behind her back, holding it to my head and shooting me. The last thought on my brain was my baby._

Thats when I woke with my hands wrapped around my stomach. I took a deep breathing smelling the house and wrapped the throw tighter around me as I sat up from the couch and turned the TV off with shaking hands. I tried to take deep breaths until I could feel my heart rate slow. These weren't strange dreams these were vulgar nightmares.

I had to talk, I had to tell someone, I had to do something becuase it had been over half an hour and I didn't feel one bit better, if anything I felt worse. The baby kicked reminding me it was hungry and I sigh, he was fine, she was fine, whatever gender it was it was fine. I rubbed my stomach a bit to see if I could get another kick out of her. Sure enough I felt two strong little thuds right next to each other.

After picking up my phone I hit a person on speed dial without looking, Mom. "Hello," She answered.

"Hey Momma," I replied hoping she didn't catch the tone I was talking.

"Hey Cam is everything okay?" She asked obviously seeing it.

"Its stupid," I trailed off.

"Of course its not stupid."

"I had a stupid night mare and it freaked me out okay, its nothing, are you going to declare me a weirdo," I came off a bit harsher than itending to, but she didn't seem to notice.

I heard a small laugh out of her, "You know thats normal?"

I shook my head right as I realized she had no idea I was shaking my head, "Yeah, its just it was really scary and," I couldn't help the words that seemed to be tripping over each other and I spilled the whole dream out and by the time I was done I felt so much...

"You better now?" Mom asked.

I exhaled, I felt so much better, "Uh-uh."

She sighed, "I'm glad your a bit better sweetheart. I really hate to sound like I'm running you off the phone but I need to finsh up some paper," She groaned and in the background I heard her say, "Joe stop," I smiled as I heard him say in a muffled whisper, "get her off the phone," before she returned, "I have to finish some paperwork, I'll call you later sweetie."

"It's okay. We talked for like an... a hour, opps I didn't realize it was that long anyway thanks love you, bye," I said and hung up. Yeah of course she had to do "paper work".

* * *

Zach knew something was wrong the minute he walked in; but anyone, even a regular person, could most likely see it.

"You okay?" He asked and I couldn't help it I filnched. I filnched as his eyes looked into mine and all I saw was him as a toturer. I'll admit the thoughts in my head scared me way more than they should have. He was my husband, yet I in that moment I didn't see that. I saw him twisting my neck, I heard a crack, and I flinched, "Whats wrong?" He took my hand and again before I could even think about what I was doing I pulled my own hand out of his and backed away to the other end of the couch.

"Sorry," I said under my breath looking up to his eyes filled with confusion and hurt. Slowly I held my hand out and with a questioning expression on his face he very gently touched it, "I'm sorry," My eyes filled with tears, but none fell.

He scooted a inch or two closer to me, "Yeah," the pain was prominet in his expression, "and I'm confused."

He moved closer and closer until I was right beside him. I let myself sink into him, certain my little trance was over and recounted the dream again.

That night in bed both of our movements were cautious. As Zach rolled over and then back over resting a hand on my stomach; even with my back to him I could still sense how alert he was. The images flashed behind my mind like a never ending movie and I bit my lip as my subconious rested on the one of Zach. It felt like I couldn't escape this.

"Cam," He said softly in case I had somehow fell asleep.

"Yeah," I asked the darkness.

"Have you thought about when to take maternity leave," He asked referring to what we learned eariler. In a job such as the CIA the leave was different. I would leave whenever I wanted before the baby was born, I could wait until two weeks before or two months before or I could work up until the day the baby was due, and it wouldn't count as the start of my 12 week leave. After the birth I could take up to 12 weeks off or I could take 2 weeks off every month. I could pretty much spread out the 12 weeks however I wanted until a year after the baby was born. So I could take 3 weeks off right after she was born and then 1 week each month. Zach could do the same thing, but he only got 6 weeks.

"A bit. I was considering finishing this week and not going anymore becuase of the way my back has been, but after today I don't wanna stay here alone," A small shiver ran through my body and Zach carefully eased closer eliminating the remaining space between us and moving his hand to my back where he knew the perfect place to massage it.

"I love you, you know that right?" I asked.

"I know Gallagher Girl, I love you too," He whispered into my ear.


End file.
